by Zara Mohammed, Relationships Columnist
Published in Relationships on 9th August, 2018
Isn't it every person's dream to be part of a relationship that makes you feel like the best possible version of yourself? All we want in life is to be happy, successful and feel good, and we often look towards love and building a life with someone to achieve all of that.
So why do so many relationships end up feeling like they have had the life sucked out of them? Why do so many people in relationships feel bored, trapped and unfulfilled? Why do so many relationships fail?
Perhaps what many of us don't realise is that when we know how to grow spiritually in a relationship, only then can we be the best version of ourselves and achieve true happiness sharing our lives with someone.
Let's explore how we can achieve this kind of relationship with someone special.
Many people take more from their relationships than they give back. There are ways to take what you need from your relationship without draining it though, especially when you have a spiritual partner.
A spiritual partner is essentially an ally for personal growth. They are someone who works alongside you to form a relationship which functions to make both of you kinder and more compassionate, wiser and more dependable, open-minded and more creative.
You will know when you have found a spiritual partner because you will be able to make better decisions together, and form a natural bond that simply works. And when this happens you will find that you will both be on your way to become the best versions of yourself, and with each other's support, it will feel effortless.
Anyone can be a spiritual partner to someone else, and you can easily grow with someone to achieve this kind of relationship. The key is achieving a healthy level of selflessness by making the commitment to help and love each other and everyone around you.
Once you transition over to spreading your positive vibes, you will quickly see that good things start to happen, and you will be propelled forwards and upwards, achieving true happiness, fulfilment and love, not only in your romantic relationship, but also in all of your relationships with the people in your life.
Now that you understand what it means to be a spiritual partner, find out how to transition your ordinary relationship into a spiritual one with these 5 Steps.
If you want to evolve your relationship from the ordinary to the spiritual you must stop focussing your attention on your own agenda. Don't worry about what you want for yourself, because you will achieve that naturally when you start focussing your energy towards evolving your relationship to the next level.
Agree with your partner that you both want the same thing, and that thing should not be the usual things people want from a relationship, like emotional security, shared financial responsibilities, trust and honesty, or mutual respect. These are all things that a spiritual relationship will form naturally. You don't need to waste your energy by focussing consciously on achieving these things.
Never underestimate the power of your energy. Focus it instead on immersing yourselves in a quest to achieve enlightenment. Your roles in a spiritual relationship are to support each other on your journey to become the best version of yourselves, together. When you focus your energy on this, the other things will emerge anyway, because they are obvious results of a true bond and connection, and a relationship in which two people share a mutual quest for the higher good.
When you consciously set goals for your relationship, you provide your relationship with a function, and it will play out that function on a day-to-day basis until you achieve the goals you have set.
If you want to achieve long term fulfilment in your relationship, then setting goals that are to do with things like developing successful careers or financial security are not going to help you achieve eternal happiness. You have to think about where happiness and fulfilment truly comes from, and then set your goals in alignment with these things.
Some good goals to think about include considering your health, your humanity, and your mental capabilities. Essentially your goals should be in line with the evolution of your mind, body and spirit. Only when you align these three most important elements of being human will you have the power to fulfil your dreams and achieve true happiness.
Think about why you chose to fall for your partner in the first place. Often you fall for qualities in a person that you admire and would like to see within yourself. What are the things that you most love about your partner?
It is common that people don't recognise the things about themselves that other people see and admire. Being part of a relationship in which you both want to grow spiritually gives you the opportunity to reveal the things you love about each other by mirroring those qualities in your own thoughts, actions and behaviour, and therefore becoming more like the person you fell for and want to be like.
Change can be difficult to swallow, and fear of the unknown is common, especially in relationships where we are used to believing that they function to make us feel safe and secure.
Change is an essential part of life though, and it is better to embrace it rather than resist it. When you resist change and hang on to what you know and feel most comfortable with, you risk experiencing a slow death in your relationship, because you are not feeding it with the new experiences it needs to grow, be challenged and flourish.
They say what doesn't break you makes you grow stronger, and this isn't something to be afraid about and shy away from. Try to start recognising change in your relationship. Look out for feelings of insecurity and new experiences to challenge you both, and then instead of avoiding or banishing those changes, use them to grow.
If you want to stay in a relationship with your partner, and for it to be one that continues to grow and be stronger, you need to want the same things in life. This doesn't mean you should both be joined at the hip, like all of the same things, or agree on absolutely everything. What it means is that you should both support the things that matter most to each of you.
If you find that your desires for the future clash, you can still remain aligned, simply by finding an alternative that meets both of your wishes, not one or the other.