Keeping The Flame In A Long Distance Relationship

by Kahlia Meeuwsen, Relationships Columnist

Published in Relationships on 17th August, 2018

Long distance relationships can be exciting, but they certainly aren't easy! There are different obstacles and variables to keep in mind with a long distance relationship that you wouldn't normally have to pay as much attention to in a relationship with someone nearby.


However, don't fear! There are some tips you can follow to give your relationship the best possible shot. Keeping these in mind, you'll be able to set you and your significant other up for success. Before long, you'll have a good idea of what your relationship needs to be healthy and happy.

Talk Regularly

A long distance relationship doesn't offer the same inherent stability that a standard relationship does. You may not be able to talk daily or know all the ins and outs of your partner's day. However, it is important to make sure you talk with your partner regularly.

The amount of time you spend talking is largely going to depend on your specific relationship. Some may want to talk every day while for others, once or twice a week may suffice. As a result, it's a good idea to talk to your significant other and decide how often you want to communicate.

Knowing that you can expect a certain amount of communication can not only ease your mind by keeping some stability, it can also allow you to enjoy your free time to the fullest. You won't need to wait around waiting for a text or call, and can make the best of both worlds.

Set Ground Rules

It's also going to be important that you know what to expect from one another, with regard to your relationship. This can include talking about whether or not you are serious about one another, whether you want a monogamous relationship, and anything else you'd rather have out in the open.


These are very important things to discuss so that you both have an understanding of what the relationship is. Neither of you will need to guess, and neither runs the risk of hurting the other due to a minsunderstanding born from non-communication.

In addition, don't wait for your partner to bring these topics up first. Peace of mind if always more important than avoiding an awkward conversation.

Don't Forget About Face To Face Communication!

While texting and phone calls are good, you can't quite replace the feeling of seeing each other face to face. If the relationship is relatively new, or you haven't had the chance to meet in person yet, this can also avoid the possibility of any unpleasant surprises when you do meet face to face.

So here and there, make sure to add in a face-to-face call to enjoy one another's company. You can even jazz it up by watching a movie together, playing ice breaker games or just enjoying a more focused conversation. It really goes a long way towards letting each other into your lives.

Some who are in long distance relationships may even find it helpful to have dates through video calls. Mimicking the process of an actual date can be a great way to spend some quality time together, allowing you some time for deep conversation.

Get Dirty

Don't be afraid to get dirty! Assuming you're comfortable with your significant other, enjoying the more intimate aspects of the relationship can allow you to get to know each other on a deeper level and really keep the flame hot.

long distance relationship

Fueling your attraction for one another, you can choose to take several routes to enjoy getting steamy with your partner. It might just be dirty texts, or maybe dirty phone calls, naughty pictures or videos. The most important aspect is to make sure you both are comfortable with the route you take.

Overall, the goal is to have fun and explore the attraction between you, even if you can't be physically intimate. It adds excitement to the relationship overall, and can go a long way towards keeping both you and your partner engaged. In addition, it's a great way to relieve tension and blow off steam together.

Be Considerate

If you and your significant other have agreed that your relationship is serious, then it's a good idea to take their thoughts and feelings into consideration when it comes to certain decisions. That's not to say that you should allow them to rul your world, but just think about their point of view.

Depending on your relationship, this can include things like late drinking nights, partying, or behaving suspiciously. It's important to let them into your world, as keeping secrets will only make them feel like you're being suspicious, even if you aren't doing anything wrong.

That said, make sure that there is established trust between you as well. If you have made certain agreements with regard to your relationship, honor them. Showing them that the relationship, and their feelings, matter to you is key to a happy relationship at any distance.

Be Safe

In addition, it's important to be safe. This is regard to outside activities as well as your relationship. If you haven't already met your significant other in person, but plan to do so, then make sure to take steps to remain safe just in case. While you might feel you know them well, it's always worth the added safety.

distance relationship

In regard to that, make sure that you meet in a public place, when you do. Don't push your personal boundaries if you don't feel safe being alone with them just yet. If something feels off when you meet, listen to your gut. One of the downfalls to long distance relationships is that you may not know what the person is like outside from when the two of you talk.

Aside from that, if you do feel comfortable, then have fun! Relaxation will come when it's ready to, so it's worth taking the added steps to allow both of you to feel safe.

Find Shared Interests

Shared interests are key for keeping a relationship going. They give you something to talk about and something to do together. In some cases, people can meet through one of those shared interests, such as in a game, forum or chat room for a specific topic.

Otherwise, it's important to talk about the things you both like. Ask questions and try to get to know them deeply as a person. It's also highly important to be respectful of one another's interests, even if it's not something you like personally.

It's unlikely that two different people are going to like all of the same things, but as long as what they like isn't harmful then it's important to make sure they feel supported. Otherwise, it can result in a rift in the relationship, along with some resentment. That's definitely something to avoid!

Make Time For Visits!

Among all things, make sure that you set aside time to spend with each other. Even if it's just a weekend here and there, having that personal closeness can really bring the two of you together as a couple. There's really nothing that can substitute for human closeness.

keep the flame distance relationship

If you can, find fun things to do together. If they're visiting your town then you can look into showing them some of the wonderful aspects of it, or vice versa. Make sure you both know what to expect from the visit as well, so that there are no disappointments that could be avoided otherwise.

In addition, make sure that there is fairness in the visits. Consider the price of travel as well as staying in a home town and discuss it with your partner. Whether the one visiting is fine with covering all of their own costs or not, it's worth talking about to make sure everything goes smoothly.

Enjoy The Outside World

While it can be easy to get wrapped up in your romance, don't forget that there are other things out in the world too. Don't forget to stay involved with friends, family and the things you enjoy. It can be easy to center your life on one person, but after a while it's going to start feeling like a life that isn't as full as it could be.

Furthermore, it's important to ensure you have a supportive network. Everyone hopes that their relationship will prove to be the one to end all relationships, but sometimes breakups can happen. In these instances, it's good to have others out there to support you.

A full life is one that allows you to create a variety of happy memories with many people. Consequently, it's wise to keep your life full, happy and full of things and people that you enjoy.

Be Honest

One of the most important aspects of keeping your long distance relationship thriving is honesty and open communication. We all have hang ups, luggage and struggles with certain things, and that's perfectly okay! What's important is to avoid bottling those things up, or hiding them from your significant other.

be honest

A quality relationship means you can rely on one another to help with your respective problems. While they may not be able to fix them, it's okay to reach out for a little help in shouldering the burdens.

That can include being honest about the issues you have. For example, not everyone is a strong communicator, for a variety of reasons. However, letting your partner know that you struggle with communicating, and why, is a great start to beginning to become a strong communicator. Overall, don't lock them out, but don't expect them to be a superhero either.

Be Positive

Long distance relationship can be very hard, there's no denying that. That said, they can also be very worthwhile if you're willing to put the effort in. These kinds of relationships can require a more concentrated effort on being thankful and focusing on the positive.

Waiting to see them, to talk to them, or to start your life together can be hard, and it can also get pretty lonely at times. Because of that, it's wise to remind yourself why you think it's worthwhile. Think about why you love that person and what they stand to bring to your life together.

That's not to say that you should ignore red flags, but there's a big difference between patience becoming a struggle and real, genuine problems in the relationship. So when you're feeling a little off, make sure to ask yourself what the problem really is. That way, you can determine whether there is a problem that needs to be addressed, or if you may just be feeling lonely.

Keep It In Check

Balance is the most important key in any relationship, and especially in long distance relationships. Consequently, learning how to juggle your relationship with your significant other, family, friends and even acquaintences is very important.

be true to yourself

The best thing you can do for yourself is build a full, happy life. Make sure you're happy with the different facets of your life on your own, from career to social life to financial stability. That way, if things work out with your partner, then it's all the merrier.

On the other hand, if things don't work out then you'll have a fantastic safety net in place to help you get through the rough times. It's truly a great way to remain happy and healthy, regardless of what happens in your relationship.


Overall, these tips are just a few that can help to ensure a happy, healthy long distance relationship. It's important to remember that these tips aren't going to apply in the exact same way with every couple. Each couple is unique, different, and requires different things.

As a result, you should look at these tips as a starting point and then tailor them to the needs of your specific relationship. That way, you'll be able to do what works best for you anf your partner. The one thing that is going to help most of all is an open line of honest communication.

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