by Kahlia Meeuwsen, Relationships Columnist
Published in Relationships on 23rd November, 2018
Especially when a relationship is new, it can be so easy to toss aside just about everything else in your life to give all the attention you can to them. While this is a natural feeling, it's incredibly important to make sure that you keep the balance in your life alongside this new love.
Here, we're going to take a look at why that balance is important, how it benefits you and what you can do to create a healthy, balanced life to share with your significant other.
A balanced relationship means that you're able to enjoy the different aspects of your life in equal measure. It means that you have time and attention to give to your relationship, but that they also don't take up all of your attention.
Furthermore, that balance means that you continue to spend time with people outside the romantic relationship. It can be very easy to become consumed by the infatuation for your new love, and to want to give them every ounce of attention you can. However, this can result in other aspects of your life beginning to falter.
Remembering to pay attention to friends, family members and to continue to engage in hobbies and other interests you may have. Maintaining these habits and relationships can go a long way towards ensuring you a happy life.
There are a number of reasons why it's important to make sure you stay balanced, even when you're infatuated with a new relationship.
To begin with, when you give all your time and energy to one person, you can also start to rely on them for just about everything. If there should come a time when you need to rely on them for something or the relationship should end, you can be left feeling very alone.
However, imagine those situations while you have a balanced life. Whether the relationship is over or your significant other is on a trip or somehow temporarily unavailable, you'll have others to lean on. Consequently, you won't have to feel quite so isolated when life is rough.
On the other hand, having a more balanced life can actually help your romantic relationship to be more lasting and healthy overall. It's all-around more beneficial, whether the relationship works out or not. However, without that balance things can easily fall apart.
We all have our own unique needs. Some of these are relatively similar among most people. The needs for love, food, respect and sleep, for example. However, there are also needs that differ quite a bit from person to person. Some need more socialization, while others are okay with smaller amounts.
Considering this, it's also generally impossible for a single person to meet all of the needs you have. For example, your significant other might enjoy watching movies with you, but they don't share your interest in video games. While there's nothing wrong with that, you may want to have someone to enjoy some gaming time with.
Friends and family members can easily fill a need like this, allowing you to get that socialization without making your significant other engage in an activity they may not enjoy. The same is true for a wide variety of interests and needs.
As mentioned earlier, sometimes you may need those connections outside of a romantic relationship, just in case there are bumpy places within that relationship. It helps to have others to turn to whether it's a disagreement or a breakup with a significant other.
Otherwise, when that breakup happens you can be left feeling extremely isolated. When you rely on one person, it can be extremely devastating when that one person cannot continue to meet your needs. While a breakup can be very difficult for anyone, having other people to turn to for comfort and acceptance can make it a bit easier to get through.
It can become very wearing on a single person to try to meet all of the needs of their partner. Of course, there are some key needs that are part of a romantic relationship, and in time it's not uncommon to rely on one another for many things.
However, when one person is the only source of socialization then they can start to feel the weight of not only their own concerns, but yours as well. Turning to them for every little thing can have effects on the relationship that are less than pleasant and can lead to disenchantment.
If you notice that your romantic relationship could be a little more balanced, don't worry! It isn't an immediate death sentence for the relationship overall. There are some things you can do in order to help balance things out in a way that leaves you both feeling content and fulfilled.
Take a look at the following tips and keep in mind the ones that may be lacking in your relationship. That way, you'll have a good idea of where to start working on the overall balance. Just take it one step at a time and you'll surely find the health of your relationship improving.
While listening can seem simple, there are times when it can be extremely difficult for some. This can include when your partner wants to discuss aspects of the relationship that they may be less than happy with.
It can be easy to feel defensive or to worry that the conversation is a sign the relationship is ending. However, avoiding the problems are a definite way to bring about that end. When you listen and try to address the relationship issues together, you can potentially keep a break from coming about.
Just like we all have needs, we also all have limits. When we ignore these limits, we can start to feel burnt out and exhausted. For example, one partner may need a little alone time right after work, or when they're stressed. While it might feel strange to the other partner, giving them that alone time can help to keep the relationship healthy.
There's nothing wrong with these kinds of limits. They are in fact, very human. Having an understanding of your partner's limits and respecting those limits can ensure a healthy, balanced relationship. It also goes a long way towards limiting stress on both sides.
One of the reasons a person can start to give up other aspects of their lives for the sake of a significant other is due to their own self worth. If they don't truly feel that they are worthy of that relationship, they may sacrifice more for the sake of keeping it.
Unfortunately, this tends to work in the opposite way than they intend. Assuming their partner is a healthy one, they are likely to begin to feel strange about being the sole focal point. Otherwise, it can add to the development of a dependent or abusive relationship.
Problems in a relationship can be hard to discuss. Sometimes, they can lead to difficult arguments while in other cases they may present an obstacle that the relationship simply cannot overcome. That said, avoiding these issues can make them much bigger than they might have been otherwise.
Learning how to communicate in a relationship is key to keeping that relationship healthy and happy. That really does apply to communicating everything, even that you're having difficulty communicating. Whatever keeps you from bottling problems up is something that is worth considering. If you need to, couples counseling can also be a great way to learn how to open up.
Regardless of whether your hobbies are ones that your partner also enjoys, it's important to keep them up! Doing the things you enjoy is great for your overall mental health whether you're in a relationship or not.
Furthermore, it's a great way to keep your life full without relying on your partner to be fulfilling enough on their own. At the very least, hobbies give you plenty of things to do while your partner is busy or away. It's also worthwhile to have hobbies that you can enjoy with others as well as ones you can do alone.
Don't forget about your friends! While a friendship may not always carry the same kinds of excitement as a romantic relationship, it's still very worthwhile. Whether you have many friends, or a smaller tight-knit group, make sure to spend time with them regularly.
There can often be cases in which romantic relationships come and go, but some friends can prove to be long-lasting. They make for a great safety net when things are rough, and excellent company when you're celebrating the larger moments in your life. In addition, the kinds of friends you have can often impact your view of the world and yourself.