by Zara Mohammed, Relationships Columnist
Published in Relationships on 15th February, 2019
You have created your Tinder Profile, written a brief bio, started swiping, and now the app has stated that you have a match! Congratulations...
It's now time to find out what the best Tinder pickup lines are or think up some good Tinder openers and start a Tinder conversation that will get you to the next level.
If you are wondering what to say on Tinder, first ask yourself what you want to achieve aside from a response of course.
It's a daunting prospect to start up a conversation with a complete stranger, especially a hot stranger, which is I'm assuming why you swiped right? This is why 50% of matches don't make the first move when it comes to starting up a conversation. That is a whole load of missed opportunities.
The good news is that if you have the confidence to open up the conversation yourself then you are already 50% ahead in the game. So you will want to choose your words carefully to keep playing.
Give yourself the best chance of success with these 3 Simple Tinder Tips.
Preparation. The two worst things you can do are not bother to initiate a conversation at all, or be generic and boring. The best way to avoid sounding the same as every other message that person receives is to take a close look at their bio and get a feel for what kind of person they are. Find something in their bio that you can reference in your Tinder opener. This is what your opening conversation will be based upon, so make sure it's something you can follow through on.
For example, pick out something you have in common, pick up on something the person is interested in, or try to find something to comment on about their photos that doesn't make you sound shallow or stupid. Humour is always a winner. An intelligent observation or compliment will suggest you have depth. Try to find something unique to say, or a unique way to say it.
It's not always possible to refer to a person bio, but if you can it is the most effective way to get a response if you are able to tailor your Tinder opener to the person you are texting. Don't be just another thoughtless message.
Provoke emotion. This will snap the other person out of the general numbness that tends to take over when you find yourself swiping on repeat and reading meaningless Tinder pick up lines that seem to all sound exactly the same.
If you can create some kind of emotion from the beginning your conversation is more likely to flow better, feel more natural allowing you both to express your personalities, and create opportunity for banter, which can be fun and entertaining.
Here is an idea of some of the emotions you might want to think about provoking in order to create a sense of flirtation and fun in your conversation.
If you get stuck, there are in fact apps that can help you with universal Tinder opener examples that are adaptable for every situation. A quick Google search should put you in the right direction.
Use the person's name in the text of your opening sentences. When you see your own name in writing, it can feel the same as when you hear it being spoken to you out loud - it grabs your attention straight away.
If you can find a way to include the person's name in your Tinder opener the effect will be that your message instantly feels more personal, because it is being directed at the individual, which naturally tricks the brain and causes them to feel unique.
Avoid using Netspeak. There are only a few exceptions to this rule, for example it is generally accepted if you want to use abbreviations like LOL or haha, or certain emojis. But you should try to stick to using language properly or you may end up giving off the wrong impression about yourself and ultimately putting someone off you.
Observe the other person's response to your message (no response can also be counted here) and take care to adapt your next message to match their tone a bit more in order to make sure that you stay, or get back on the same page.
Online dating can feel like a minefield and you should always be prepared to fail. Every failure is an opportunity for you to figure out what works, it is an opportunity to improve how you present yourself, and it is an opportunity to discover more about how human beings work. Hopefully these ideas will have given you some starting points.
Remember, don't take it seriously, don't take it personally, have fun and good luck!